Beowulf could also hide his wang behind swords, daggers, dragon tails, tentacles, Grendel's babyfisted arm, candles, his own men, and Kenard.
Beowulf is not actually hiding a cock. His schlong was stuck in the last monster he killed and to reach it's heart to rip it out, he had to cut it off.
Not to interrupt the wiener discussion, but there is a rendering of a prehistoric sea scorpion here as well that is awesome.
You're right, Professor. It would be remiss of us to not mention that the scorpion has a crazy-large and sharp-ended dong.
It is my pseudo-scientific judgement that you perhaps are one of those people that see's a dong in everything: Kielbasa, The Washington Monument, Spongbob's Nose, and now prehistoric 8 foot aquatic scorpions. There may be an elixir or nostrum available at your local medicine wagon that can aid you with that.
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