Monday, February 25, 2008

Insignificant Premonition #3

Check out this dream I found while going through an old sketchbook:

May 4th, 2006

Alden had some custom, homemade guitar for Guitar Hero (knobs all over it) and also a crazy homemade light gun for the shooting games. Instead of a trigger, it had a switch like this, you know – a metal toggle switch like in airplanes.

It also had a thing you could turn that focused the beam from a shotgun blast that took up the whole screen to sniper shot that was accurate down to a few pixels.

I was playing a game with it when we got attacked for real and I had to take out our attackers. Luckily, the gun could be switched to laser mode. You couldn’t see the beam but only the contact – a little blue dot burning a hole in your target.

The gun’s silly looking - made out of funny white squishy plastic. The guitar’s normal but has HUGE knobs all over it.

Nearly two years later, on February 2nd, 2008 I went to Alden's house for his wife's birthday party. Alden does not own Guitar Hero, a modified fake guitar, nor a homemade light zapper. Some people did end up playing some video games, but I did not participate. We did not get attacked.

None of the things in my premonition had come to be. However, at the end of the night, Alden gave me his spare Wii Zapper because he had gotten two of them for Christmas.

As you may or may not know, the Wii Zapper did not exist in 2006 when I dreamed of that silly white plastic gun. Another thing you may or may not know is that the on-screen aimer for the Wii Zapper is a blue dot.

This premonition does not seem to have held any importance so far, but it's closer than anything I've heard from Nostradamus.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Cosmic VD

omnicollective: earlier, i hit the power switch on my videocamera
omnicollective: to test a new battery
omnicollective: wishing i had a videotape to test with
omnicollective: and at that moment the doorbell rang
omnicollective: so precisely on time with me hitting the power switch
omnicollective: i almost thought it caused the ring
omnicollective: UPS was there... with a box of 10 videotapes
omnicollective: that i had totally forgotten I'd ordered
christian science monitor: whoa!
omnicollective: it is the most cosmic valentine's day ever
christian science monitor: indeed

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

A real life fable

little girl: hey, do you know fonts?
omnicollective: yes. a little
little girl
: cool, I'm trying to find one that's stretched out length wise
little girl: but a little bold
: did you already find a good one?
little girl: i did find some good ones
omnicollective: ok
little girl: but I can't figure out how to get them into Photoshop
omnicollective: do you mean you can't figure out how to get the font into the fonts folder on your system?
little girl: well, it's in the folder
little girl: no, I can see it on the fonts list, but when I choose it nothing shows up
omnicollective: it's a font you just downloaded off the innerwebs?
little girl: yeah
little girl: like even the curser goes away
little girl: damn, looks like it's just the font
omnicollective: some of those free fonts off the web are trash
little girl: it works in TextEdit, but not Photoshop
omnicollective: weird
omnicollective: is it truetype?
little girl: right, yeah, I'll have to research it
omnicollective: i was about to type 'a little research never hurt anyone'
omnicollective: but then i remembered that is not true
little girl: ooh, what's an example?
omnicollective: i'm glad you asked, little girl
omnicollective: have a seat on my lap here
omnicollective: and i will tell you of the time
omnicollective: i wanted to learn how to open champagne bottles with a sword
omnicollective: the way those cool guys do
little girl: of course
omnicollective: so i did a little reading
omnicollective: felt like i had a pretty good handle on it
omnicollective: ordered a sword off of ebay
omnicollective: and snuck it into an award banquet my friend invited me to as her date
omnicollective: she was set to get an award and i wanted to make it extra special
omnicollective: they put champagne bottles on each table
omnicollective: it couldn't have been more perfect
omnicollective: when the time came and she was up accepting her award
omnicollective: i shook up the bottle and attempted to saber off the top of it
omnicollective: the whole thing exploded
omnicollective: shards of glass flew into me and the people at my table
omnicollective: 2 of them got it in the eye
omnicollective: but that's not the worst
omnicollective: the cork flew up and hit the chandelier
omnicollective: and spun it
omnicollective: i guess it had a weak link or something
omnicollective: it crashed down right on my friend
omnicollective: slicing her into a zillion pieces
omnicollective: everyone freaked out
omnicollective: and i panicked
omnicollective: the security guards were coming for me
omnicollective: and i sliced my way through them
omnicollective: i made it to the top of the building
omnicollective: but some guards caught up to me
little girl: oooh
omnicollective: i was trying to put the sword down
omnicollective: but my panic made my grip so tight
omnicollective: they started shooting at me
omnicollective: but fired into the Portland World Trade Center across the street
omnicollective: within minutes, jets were in the air
omnicollective: i guess there is a top secret nuclear weapon called the Champagne Sabre
omnicollective: so they misunderstood the situation that had been reported over their radios
omnicollective: and exercised deadly force
omnicollective: blowing the entire building to rubble
omnicollective: everyone died
omnicollective: so the message here is just be careful with research
little girl: wow, I guess you're right
little girl: who knows where this Kool-Aide font will take me