We didn't make the cut.

Sadly, Nealham's horror film 'Eyes Wide Pus' did not make it into the Best of Portland show so we will not be in the screening on August 31st. To cheer you up, here is a wonderful silent film by my friends 7#$. They won the audience favorite award for their screening group and might just end up with some of the judged awards, too. We shall see.

Eyes Wide Pus

Nealham's 48 hour film for 2009 is now online for your viewing pleasure. We're still waiting to find out if it will be screened at the Best of Portland show on August 31st. Please stay tuned.

Genre

• Horror

Required Elements

• Character - A lab technician named Brian Merryweather
• Prop - A picture frame
• Line of dialogue - "For crying out loud."

Come see our fifth 48 hour film!

It is that time of year again. Team Nealham is preparing to shoot our entry for the 2009 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. All of the information you need is at that link, but if you want to cut to the chase and buy tickets for the screening this coming Wednesday the 19th at 9:30 PM, click here. I highly recommend buying your tickets early online, as the show often sells out.

I hope to see you there, but understand if you can't make it. You may have another chance to see our film on the big screen if we get into the Best of Portland show that screens Monday, August 31. I'll keep you posted.

Fawkes Featured @ Custom Toy Lab

My Guy Fawkes toy was featured at the Custom Toy Lab today. Check it out!

Nights like these

You know the ones. Events so perfectly timed, recalling their memory is no different than remembering your favorite film. Each seemingly-random delay leading to a meaningful encounter that feels premeditated - but not by you. You have drinks with your students for the very first time, since it was your last night together. Then, crossing a street, you run into your long-lost brother driving past. Give or take five seconds and it would have just been any other night. This delay gets you to the platform just in time to catch a familiar face nodding goodnight as his train pulls away. Immediately, from the other direction, a transvestite prostitute in the shortest shorts moves from one train to the other, listening to her ipod, singing and dancing the entire time. Once she boards the train, though, the music soon dies. The ipod is taken from her by two familiar thugs as the tax for crossing a sacred line of criminal turf. The air in the train car feels about to boil into violence, but the pock and ink-marked thugs leave the train without further incident. At the same time, through the same door, a friend of the prostitute boards, quickly soothing away the pain. The dust settles as they chatter. Through it, you notice another familiar face in the next car. He's sitting, reading the same flashy book you spied him walking up the same street with this same morning. A conversation ensues, pulling long-forgotten knowledge out of hiding. Ralph Bakshi, rotoscoping, Max Fleisher's Superman, Betty Boop. The guy next to him swears at the realization he's missed his stop - which alerts you that yours is next. As you swim home through the thick air of honeysuckle and roses, you get a text from your house one block away. Where are you? I'm here.

I Need Your Help

So, the book they're talking about in the news (you know, the one with the original medicinal Dr. Pepper recipe) is up for auction. It's listed at $25,000, which I don't really feel like spending on a book right now. Luckily, the auction includes a zoomable image of the page with the recipe on it. I've deciphered all of the ingredients except for one. Can anyone help me with this final word? It's some kind of root that begins with the letter "G". It doesn't appear to be any of the standards: ginger, ginseng, galangal. Please comment and let me know if you have any ideas.

Cola is a Potion

August 7, 2008:

For many reasons, I find the history of the cola beverage fascinating. The main reason, though is for its connection to the world-spanning legacy of the timeless bond between humans and medicinal herbs.

As slick and commercial as it has become in modern times, that red and white logo of the oldest cola company serves only to remind me that this bastardized sludge I'm drinking is proudly descended in an unbroken line from that first, pure elixir that jolted the minds of the ancients with a new clarity.


Recently, I attended the Red Bull Flugtag. The concession stands there were selling something called Simply Cola. Of course I had to try it. The flavor was very unique and I was surprised by the list of ingredients on the can.

After that, I tried to find Simply Cola in stores but soon discovered that Las Vegas was the only test market for Red Bull Cola in the USA. So I logged on to eBay and ordered a case. My package arrived this morning. Upon opening it I discovered just a few, tiny 1 oz. sample cans of cola. The rest of the compartments in the crate that should have contained cola held instead cigarette packs and empty cans and bottles. I had been eSwindled!

Then I woke up. It was just a dream. My real package arrived that same day and it contained real cans of real cola and I drank them and I was happy.

It took me a long time to finally post this article. Now you can find Red Bull Simply Cola at many Plaid Pantries in my town. If you are a fan of caffeine, cola or things like magical snake oil I urge you to seek out Simply Cola at a convenience store near you or even online at Amazon. Also, check out these neat images at LovelyPackage.com.

• Coca Leaf - Given to the Incas by their creator, Viracocha, coca took away their hunger, gave them strength and erased their miseries.
• Kola Nut - It's the main source of caffeine in traditional colas. It is said that the consumption of kola produces a more euphoric effect than most other naturally caffeinated plants. In Africa, it is chewed habitually for its stimulant and euphoric effects.
  
• Lemon - Historically used as an antidote for some poisons, the lemon can also be used as a battery.
  
• Lime - The British Navy provided their sailors with limes for the purpose of preventing scurvy - which is how British sailors came to be known as 'limeys'. Unfortunately, this is not the mineral lime that is traditionally chewed together with coca to activate its alkaloids.
  
• Clove - Pure and simple; Cloves numb the pain.
  
• Cinnamon - It was a major component of the Holy Anointing Oil that one would need to be covered in before being endowed with the title "Messiah". Oh, cinnamon is also high in antioxidants.
  
• Cardamom - It has been used as an antidote for scorpion and snake venom.
  
• Pine Nut - A hunger suppressant and possibly the seed that fathered Moctezuma.
  
• Corn Mint - A fever reducer, among other things.
  
• Galangal - Known as 'Little John' in the deep south, where it was chewed like tobacco and rumored to guarantee victory in court if you spit the juice onto the floor before the judge enters the room.
  
• Vanilla - Legend says it originally sprouted from where the blood of a Mexican princess and her lover landed on the forest floor, after they were beheaded by her angry father. Studies show it increases adrenaline. It has also been known as an aphrodisiac.
  
• Ginger - Promotes the release of bile from the gallbladder and also helps horses to perform their best in shows: "to feague a horse is to put ginger up a horse's fundament and formerly, as it is said, a live eel, to make him lively and carry his tail well. It is said, a forfeit is incurred by any horse-dealer’s servant, who shall show a horse without first feaguing him."
• Mace - Research is saying that mace might have anti-cancer properties, but in large doses it is known to cause hallucinations, palpitations and feelings of impending doom.
  
• Cocoa - One of the best things ever.
  
• Coffee - The other best thing ever.
  
• Liquorice - An excellent expectorant, but taking way too much will make your heart explode.
  
• Orange - Did you know that an orange is just a big berry?
  
• Mustard Seeds - It is known to some as 'Eye of Newt' but is much easier to obtain than that. Despite hundreds of years of bloodshed among them, various world religions can all agree upon the power of the mustard seed.